Thursday, September 6, 2012

Baby #3 Birth Story

On our way to the hospital-the first time.

I know I haven't updated the blog in a while, but the good news is I am not 12 months pregnant.  Our baby girl did as she was told and vacated the premises in late May.  The bad news-having three children is doing me in.  The last three months have been as unpredictable as our baby girl's birth.  Are you ready for this crazy story?

Now that I am three months in on sleep deprivation it is good to remember how I felt the night before I went into labor.  I was getting so frustrated waiting for this baby to come.  One more night of sitting on the couch hoping tomorrow would be the day as the minutes passed slowly seemed unbearable. So instead I turned to Ben at 7:00pm and said "What time is 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting' playing in the theatre tonight?"   He looked it up on his phone and replied 7:40.  "Okay," I replied, "Can you put the kids to bed?"  A little surprised, but too scared to upset the 9 months pregnant woman he replied "Sure."  I picked up the keys and walked out.  So glad I did since unbeknownst to me it was my last night of freedom.

I am sure you are asking why didn't you go with Ben?  Well being the emotionally unstable 9 months pregnant woman that I was.  I was afraid that he would laugh a little too hard at the movie's pregnancy jokes which in turn would result in my fuming and then crying and then me blubbering/lecturing him on how he had no clue how hard this was and how you loose your body and all dignity and so on.  Best decision ever to go alone.   Besides I was a big girl (literally and figuratively) I didn't need someone to go to the movies with.

So instead I waddled into the movie theatre by myself and tried not to wet my pants as I laughed them off!  It was hilarious. I received a few looks being the 9 months pregnant lady to which I smiled and gave them my best beauty queen wave.

I arrived home after everyone was tucked in and ended up sleeping on the couch for comfort reasons.

At 5:00 am  I woke to contractions 5 minutes apart that were one minute in duration.  At 6:00 I realized I was supposed to go in to the hospital per doctor instructions.  I ignored the doctor instructions. I hate the hospital, didn't want to get there too early in the labor and most importantly wanted to get Dane off to school.

After the kids were taken care of and watched after, we arrived to the hospital at 9:00.  I was only 2 cm dilated.  After 2 hours of walking stairs,  I was only a 2 and 1/2 cm. Besides the nurse said I didn't look like I was in that much pain.  PAUSE- WRONG! I could feel each and every contraction, when they started and when they ended. I am just very stoic when I am in pain. She told me I could either go home or be induced but they were full and I wouldn't be able to get a room for another hour or two. I realized that really translated into 2-4 hours.  Worried about the kids at home I decided to go home pick up Neve from the sitter and wait for labor to intensify to the hospital's liking. The nurse said to return when I couldn't talk through the pain of the contractions.

On our way home at noon we called Ben's sister, Elizabeth in North Carolina and asked if she could come up to watch the kids.  She said she would be on her way after work.

The day progressed as did my labor as I planned multiple contingency plans for babysitters for Dane and Neve and cleaned the house. Yeah I am insane I know. At 6:30 pm we bathed the kids.  Around 7:00pm as I was doing Neve's hair after her bath. I had to stop every few minutes to breath and had to ask Neve to not move.  At that point I told Ben we should probably head to the hospital soon.  Ben proceeded to put the kids to bed with a story that took FOREVER. I told him to hurry it up we needed to go NOW. He tucked the kids in and ran over to our neighbors to have our friend Chris come over until Elizabeth arrived. I waddled up the stairs to kiss my sweet babies goodnight realizing that this would be the last time I had just the two of them as my babes. It was now 7:30. I knew it was bad when I couldn't talk to Chris when he walked in because I had to breathe. Okay I thought "This is when the nurse said to come back-when I wasn't able to talk through the contractions."

We hopped in the car for the craziest ride of our life.  Ben takes off and we are both doing okay. I page my OB's service and let them know I am on my way to the hospital.  A few minutes into the ride, Ben chooses the shortcut route to the freeway that has um, oh, like TWENTY road bumps.  After the fifth or so I 'sweetly' say "COULD YOU TAKE THEM ANY FREAKING FASTER!" as the car jumps up and down over the bump like a monster truck crushing old cars.  So the sweet man goes over the next bump at oh about 0.05 miles per hour to which I again with nothing but 'sweetness' say "Um you don't have to go THAT slow." Poor man. I am starting to realize maybe I am farther along than I thought.

Once we hit the main road to the freeway peace is momentarily restored that is until....... I realize we don't have much time and tell him to please drive fast, REALLY fast.  We get on the freeway and are relieved to see that we don't have to deal with traffic (It took 40 mins to get to the hospital earlier that day due to traffic). Love DC traffic....

Soon after choice words-which will not be repeated on this blog-were muttered by me, as I felt the urge to take my pants off.  My mind refused that urge. As I realized that knowing that my pants were on would keep me from having this baby in the car.  At this point I was holding onto the "Oh Crap" Bar above the window and pushing on my tiptoes with my body suspended in a straight line as I said things I should not repeat.  Ben toes were putting all their weight on the gas petal, as he passed cops, and I cried for him to go faster.  I unzipped my pants, thinking I can't take this anymore and yelling for an epidural.  It was straight out of last night's movie with Elizabeth Banks' character yelling, "Get me the Juice!"  Unfortunately there was no "juice" to be had. So instead I yelled at my husband to drive faster.

We pull up to the hospital, park illegally in the round about entrance and waddle into the hospital.  Well I waddled while Ben forgot about his wife and ran ahead.  As I passed the Visitor's desk and the long line the volunteer kept yelling at us with authority and disdain in her voice since we apparently were breaking the rules.

"Excuse me, umm Excuse me, you need to get in line."

 We continued to ignore her as I swiftly waddled past her while pulling my shirt down and holding my pants up hopeing that no one could see that they were unzipped but happy that they were still on.  Ben finally stopped to wait for me and yelled,


Hah take that crazy power hungry volunteer!!!!  I thought to myself, as I stepped on the escalator.  We arrive on the Labor and Delivery floor.
Ben swiftly walks on while I stop to deal with a contraction.  I have to yell for him as he is 30 feet ahead.  "Oh whoops"  he says as he realized he has completely left me behind.  "Remember me-I'm the one having our freaking baby!"

We then walk into L&D together and see no one in sight.  I send Ben to go get someone. I waddle to the bathroom in triage because I think I need to go.  On the way I see a nurse exit a curtained off room/area.  Because I was raised right I sweetly smile at the nurse as I close the bathroom door. What is wrong with me? I prepare to go the bathroom and then I try to sit.  I can't move.  I am in a mid squat holding on to the bathroom wall bar when I realize "Umm, I don't need to go to the bathroom, apparently I need to push." I squat/waddle/stumble to the door open it a crack to try to preserve my modesty and helplessly say "Help."  No one is there.  I do this two more times with no success. In my squat I stumble back over to the squat bar and maintain/resume my 45 degree angled squat, confused as to what to do now. At this moment my OB calls me on my cell phone.  I answer in my lovely mid squat, panting and talking in broken sentences. "Umm Hi....... Dr. F,.......... I think I need to push..."

"What?  Where are you, Brynn?" She replied.

"Umm the bathroom........... in triage, .........but no one.......... knows I am here yet,....... I just walked in."

"Brynn you need to get out of the bathroom."

"Umm, yeah........ I can't........ move."

"Brynn, you cannot have your baby in the bathroom."

I think the baby disagreed. Also at this point, being in full blown labor let's take a moment to recognize that your wits are not fully about you. So what do I do next? 

I then reply, "Okay...... well I am....... going to.......go now."

 I then hang up on my doctor! I look down at my pants and think "There is no way I can bend over to put those back on to leave this bathroom and go get the nurse."

Now at this point you are probably wondering 'Where is Ben?'  Oh Ben found someone-the lady at the registration desk. She took him hostage and insisted he check- in again despite the fact that we already gave them all our info earlier that day.

Okay back to me since that is what you really care about right?
At this point I hear the triage phone ring, a moment of silence and then feet running towards me.  Hallelujah I didn't lock the bathroom door after my last feeble attempt of calling for help.

As the door opens I see the face of an angel.  The same RN I sweetly smiled at a few minutes ago.  Ben's sweet face shows up at the door a second later.

The nurse says, "Honey, you need to get out of this bathroom."

"I ....... can't move."

"You can't have your baby in the bathroom."

"I. can't. move."

" I need you to walk to that stretcher."

I look up. The walk to the stretcher seems to be the distance of a 5K.

"I don't think I can."

"You have to Honey. Come on let's go," she insists.

 I look down at my pants, realizing I won't be able to get them back on.  The nurse takes my arm. -decision time-  I swiftly step out of all my clothing below the waist if you know what I am saying and as gracefully as possible-which is not at all- I waddle across triage (which is open to the hallway and entrance doors of L&D) half naked!  Ben tries to protest as he is the only one aware enough to realize the horror of this situation.  Thank goodness this girl waddled fast enough that no one else saw her walk of shame.  I "gingerly" get on the stretcher, as the nurse says "I have to check you NOW."  The curtain is still open.  Ben completely aghast that no one is concerned about my modesty runs to shut it.

The RN checks my progress.  Her face says it all.  She picks up the phone and barks, "I need a delivery room NOW!"  I think please let me be past 7 cm.  Really Brynn?  Denial apparently had the leading role in this drama.

 Ben then asks, "Can she get an epidural?" as the RN whisks open the curtain and starts pushing the stretcher as she RUNS along side it.  Ben quickly covers my lower half with a sheet.

 "How far along am I?" I ask.  She doesn't answer. A contraction starts, I bear down.  She sees my scrunched up face and says in an 'Oh no you don't' tone.  "No, open your mouth in a circle and breathe out."  I obey.

"How far along am I?"  I ask again then my face bunches up and I start to bear down. "She replies "No, open your mouth in a circle and breathe out."  At this point I am white knuckling the side rail and groaning as we turn the corner in the hallway, completely embarrassed, but in so much pain I can't control it.

The RN finally answers me right before we enter the delivery room.  "Your complete."

What!?  Remember that denial thing? I kind of figured what with the speeding stretcher and all, but I was so out of it with the pain, I still needed to hear it from her.

We entered the delivery room to about ten nurses standing at the ready.  They lined up the stretcher parallel to the bed and told me to move to the delivery bed. Really?

I was still in the middle of a contraction and sharply barked,"NO!"

The whole room stopped in shock.  Where was that nice girl that was smiling when she waddled in? The nurses then discussed between themselves that they didn't think Dr. F would want to deliver the baby on the stretcher.  In the middle of the contraction I am thinking.  "WHO THE HECK CARES WHAT DR. F WANTS. I AM THE ONE HAVING THIS BABY!" The contraction ended.  My Mr. Hyde went away and my Dr. Jekkyl sweetly said.  "Okay I can move now."

The nurses looked up shocked again at the turnabout but quickly helped me move to the bed. Once I was completely on the delivery bed the nurses realized Dr. F wasn't there yet and that they needed a doctor, ANY doctor. A nurse mentioned she just saw Dr. S down the hall down at the nurses station, as another ran to go get Dr. S.

Another contraction started a second after I hit the bed to which I replied with a push. PAUSE-did I mention that my water hadn't broke yet? Which is why I didn't realize I was as far along as I was, since my water breaking started my previous two labors.

Okay RESUME-so I push once, a splash explodes and hits all the nurses at the end of the bed as they jump back-Whoops! "That's for making me change beds!" I yell. Just kidding! I didn't say that.

After my first push I think the head is out. With eyes closed in pain, I ask incredulously "Is the head out?"  No one answers.  I repeat myself.  No one answers so Ben looks down the bed and says, "Yes, the head is out Honey.  One more push for the shoulders and you'll be done."  At this point there isn't a doctor in sight, the delivery bed isn't broken down, and it feels like it is just Ben and I in this. I push once more and feel the shoulders come out as I hear a nurse say, "The cord is around the neck and loose. I am removing the cord from around the neck."  I finish the push and the rest of the baby's body lands on the bed, by her own little self. After she lands, the nurses pick her up, and Ben cuts the cord. They wipe her off and hand her to us.  Did that really just happen?

A minute later Dr. F runs in to see the three of us, with Ben and I giggling, while we hold "Fatty" while muttering over and over. "I can't believe we are done!" & "I can't believe we just had a baby!"  The nurses are laughing too, remarking that Dr. S down the hall didn't even make it.  Two full pushes and she was here!

Unbelievably that all happened in the 10 minutes after we arrived to the hospital and only 30 minutes after I had kissed my other two babies in their beds at home.

The worst part was as I was waking up the next morning my brain started to register the event of the previous evening as I looked upon my perfect baby girl.

'Wait, did I really walk across Triage half naked?  Oh no!  Did I really groan loud enough for the whole floor to hear as they ran me down the hall.  Great.....  Oh wait did I really yell "NO!" to the nurses when they asked me to change beds.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Did I really deliver my baby by myself with two pushes with Ben informing me of the status of the situation.

I blushed a little that morning and giggled as I was overcome with embarrassment, not really caring as I held my sweet perfect baby, who didn't make a peep through the whole thing!

It has been a crazy ride since and disbelief and denial are still main characters in this drama as I look at the three rugrats around me and think who is responsible for these loud children. Luckily amnesia isn't a star in this show and I remember how each one of my three came to me, especially baby #3!

"Fatty" all swollen after birth.
She is our biggest baby at 8 pounds.

Monday, April 30, 2012


Notice of Eviction


MS. ACID HEARTBURN               
MISS EXTRA LBS                 &



Photo of disputed property at 8 months pregnant.  As evidence for repair bill, please note toothpaste spill on gray maternity shirt.

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE that pursuant to the lease and/or rental agreement dated September 2011 under which you hold the possession of the herein described premises there is now due, unpaid and delinquent rent, and/or property damages in the total sum of $764.00, representing damages due for the period from  September 2011          to     April 30, 2012    .

PLEASE TAKE FURTHER NOTICE that within      30         days after service of this notice, you are hereby required to pay the above-listed amount in full OR quit the subject premises, move out, and deliver up possession of the same to     Brynn Sorenson   . Failure to pay the rent in full OR vacate the premises WITHIN     30        days as required by this notice will result in forfeiture of the lease and/or rental agreement and will institute legal and medical proceedings against you (i.e. induction or worse c-section) to recover rent, damages and possession of said premises.


Dated:  April 30, 2012  

By:   Brynn Sorenson       
text provided/inspired by


Two 160 count bottles of Tums for excessive heartburn and damage to the esophagus of the property ............................................................. $14.00

1 year gym membership to loose the extra lbs that packed on property during Baby Girl Sorenson's time of property possession ..............................$400.00

Copay for the dermatologist and cost of medication for future repair of facial discoloration/mask of pregnancy of the property from hormonal imbalance brought on by tenant Baby Girl Sorenson ........................................ $140.00

Major hip pain due to tenants large head causing damage to the hip joint, resulting in multiple treatments of the property by the chiropractor to repeatedly relocate hip joint to it's original place. Copay for 10 visits ....$200.00

Dry Cleaning bill for shirts with toothpaste stains and ice cream spills due to cravings and increased clumsy nature brought on by state of pregnancy..$10.00 

Feelings of embarrassment due to realizing after party, after waddling around that property had a prominently placed toothpaste spill in plain view  ...............................$Undecided, property still dealing with embarrassment 

Emotional stress, sleep deprivation and pain over worry of complications and fatigue from dealing with excessive, constant, and uncomfortable property damage........................................$You better put me in an excellent nursing home, or better yet let me live with you when said property is old and keeps breaking her hips due to damage and stress put on property from providing residence for you, allowing you to grow into a human being.


Landlord will waive rent and damages as long as tenant BABY GIRL SORENSON, MS.HEARTBURN, MISS EXTRA LBS & LADY MASK OF PREGNANCY, agree to evacuate the premises in the next 30 days.  Landlord will donate $100.00/day to tenant BABY GIRL SORENSON'S college fund for early evacuation of the property Brynn Sorenson.  

The waiver option also includes for BABY GIRL SORENSON only, a rent free adorable nursery and home with two(loud but fun) housemates named Dane and Neve. Please know despite the landlords best efforts we can't 100% guarantee your safety from these two.  Although every reasonable effort will be made to protect you.  By signing you agree not to hold grudges toward the landlords for any emotional  and/or physical damage caused by the tenants  Dane & Neve. The rent free accommodations also comes with two loving landlords/parents who will hold you, feed you, change you, and love you unconditionally.  

Brynn & Ben Sorenson (Your current and future landlords, aka your loving parents)

Super Dane's 7th Birthday

Our little superhero isn't so little anymore.  Super Dane just turned 7 this spring.

He has made such super strides in his life & is a hero in our eyes, so naturally we thought we'd throw him a Superhero party with all his super friends.

Dane's Super Invitation

Dane's Lair

Super Lunch including a "hero" sandwich, x-ray vision drops(blueberries), energy chips and of course hero juice all brought to you by 
The Hero Supply Company Corp.(aka Super Jordan)

Our superheroes eating their super lunch.  They were so adorable.  After downing the orange soda, one boy burped, to which Dane responded, "That was a SUPER BURP!"  They all laughed and got a kick out of that.  Oh, boys...... For the rest of the party everything they did was "Super" this and "Super" that.  

Super Hero Training

Happy 7th Super Dane!

Goodie Bags and Goodbyes!

 I have to add, Neve's playdate didn't work out, so instead we asked her to be a special helper for the party.  She was  the perfect sidekick.  She helped Mom & Dad run the party while letting Dane be the superhero and shine in all his glory, without a speck of jealousy.   I couldn't help but make her a pink cape and mask the next day.  Somehow she has turned it into not only a cape but a shawl for her princess dress-ups.  She is so sweet and imaginative!  

Dane's Sweet Sidekick, Neve! 

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was an eventful weekend at our home.  Saturday we went to a historic manor for an Easter Egg Hunt with the children.  There was face painting, bag decorating, a scavenger hunt, an egg roll and of course an Easter egg hunt.  Dane and Neve had a blast, as did we watching them enjoy the festivities.

Bag decorating

Face painting

Dane got the first clue/item of the scavenger hunt!

Neve bringing home the win for her Easter egg roll team!

It's free, all this loot is free!

Her spoils, all three eggs!

Dodona Manor in historic Leesburg, Virginia

The streets of downtown historic Leesburg

We then returned home and celebrated Passover dinner.  Uncle Cardin came up from Charlottesville to celebrate the weekend with us.  Cardin and I grew up in a christian household. Our Mom taught us the story of Moses and his people and the relevance of Passover dinner.  We would usually observe Passover dinner on Thursday night like Christ did, when he broke bread and introduced the sacrament at Passover dinner/Last Supper.

Earlier in the day we had Dane and Neve watch the Dreamworks Prince of Egypt, so they could learn the story of Moses and his people and would understand the reason to celebrate the Passover.

During dinner we ate food from Christ's time and geographical area, including pomegranate juice, fish and honeycomb, olives, apricots and matzah bread(our unleavened bread). I found a gluten free version for our family at Whole Foods as well as the honeycomb.  It was fun teaching the children the significance of the food and Dane was excited when he recognized the symbolism for the unleavened bread.  We also left an empty table setting and an empty chair for the Prophet Elijah, which was also a tradition my mother taught me.  It was so rewarding to see it start to make sense to Dane and a little bit for Neve.  During dinner, we explained the significance of the passover dinner to the children and how it related to Easter, the beginning of the sacrament, Christ's sacrifice and crucifixion, and resurrection. We then watched a new short video called "He is Risen," which depicts the last days of his life.  I was surprised with how quiet the children were as they watched and ate.

The next morning we enjoyed gifts from the Easter bunny.  Dane and Neve were actually well behaved in church (an Easter miracle!-seriously) with their new church activity books.

After Church we enjoyed an traditional Easter dinner of ham, potatoes and green beans.  Dane asked the significance of the traditional ham dinner.  We didn't have an answer, just tradition I guess.  It was funny, he wanted to know what every dish represented.  We finally replied with "Easter in America."  He gave up, as did we. Anyone know why Americans eat ham for Easter? 

  Overall, it was such a sweet weekend and I was impressed with how much Dane and Neve paid attention to the information and how much they retained.  I've been wanting to institute some of these traditions for years and never have been able to get around to it. It was definitely worth all the work and I am excited to make it a tradition in our household like it was growing up in mine.  It made me more thankful for my Mother who had taught me well, I wish I could have shared what a wonderful weekend it was with her.  I am humbled and grateful for Christ sacrifice, that because of him, I will see her again.  What a blessing! 

We hope everyone had a joyous Easter or Passover, or both!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween 2011

Halloween crept up on us this year.  It is all going too fast.  We were pretty low key this year since I was battling pink eye in both eyes and allergies but we still managed a great night.

Dressing the children up is so much fun. I have to say my favorite part though is watching the excitement on their faces as they run from door to door.
Our sweet werewolf

Our little "50's Girl"
poodle skirt and all

Our very cool neighbor
Cowboy Chris

I continued the tradition of assembling special allergen free treats for Dane.  This year, I even put a few different colored bows to not make it as  obvious that I did it.  I don't know why.  This boy has no clue what I am up to and I hope that at least lasts for a few more years.

I adore the fact that he actually believes that neighbors just happen to be handing out food that he can eat.  The best part is that I handed off the responsibility to Ben this year to run ahead and ask the neighbors to give the chosen treat to the little werewolf. He thought walking ahead was sufficient.  With Dane and Neve's excitement, it wasn't. So after Dane noticed that three or so allergy free treats were given to him by neighbors, I slipped the remaining in his bag when he wasn't looking.  Why did I not think of this earlier?  Probably because this last week with the visitors of seasonal allergies and the mean Sir Pink Eye, Lady Lazy has become my new best friend.
Anyone there?

The children certainly didn't know the meaning of lazy as they ran from door to door. In between houses Neve kept exclaiming "I LOVE Halloween!"  That is until the end when her bag was so full and heavy, she quickly changed her tune to "I HATE halloween!"  No fickleness here....  Once Ben emptied some candy into his jacket pockets and handed her the lightened load the "I LOVE Halloween" exclamation continued.

The joyful faces at the end of the night as they count their candy. I feel sort of like a wicked witch in that we let them keep a few  pieces and pay them for the rest.  Ben then takes the stash into work the next day.  Is that horrible?  It works and they don't complain, but I remember eating my Halloween candy for months.  What they don't know can't hurt them?  What do you do?

Sad that it is over so quickly but I am already craving Ben's Thanksgiving Turkey, Sinterklaas for the children, and Christmas carols playing throughout the house.

Neve's Reaction to her loot
 Where to start?!
Chocolate of course!

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Evolution of Motherhood

When it comes to motherhood, I am constantly laughing at myself, my unrealized expectations and how I am constantly realigning my standards. By realigning I mean lowering.

Motherhood is definitely a process. One I have realized I am not in complete control of, kind of like my children.  Do you remember this post from Dane's first day of school last year? When I went completely crazy Mom with her boy starting kindergarten. I wanted everything to be perfect, picturesque, memorable.  It was definitely memorable.

So this year I evolved in my motherhood and changed my expectations drastically.  I treated day one of school as if it was day 152. Just another random day of school. We would say goodbye at the front door. He would walked to the bus alone, no parent escort, no following him to school or walking him into class. No paparazzi scene with me yelling "Dane, look here, over here!"

No expectations, well that is except for the obligatory "stand in front of the door, first day of school" picture.  I gave up everything but that one picture.  One shot with a simple smile.  I don't think that is too much to ask.  Apparently Dane disagreed. This kept me laughing all day.

Here's your picture, are we done yet Mom?

I can't take this woman anymore!

Ugh the things I have to deal with!

As for Neve's first day of preschool, we kept it simple too. Dad went to work, Dane was already to school. I almost forgot to take the picture. So glad I didn't, because of course Neve didn't disappoint. She went to the other extreme of Dane.  All I asked her to do was hold still and simply smile.  Instead she did it Neve style.  Over the top all the way!

Neve working her shirt's wiped down toothpaste spill

Work it

Really?  I don't know what look she was going for here.
Sexy Blue Steel maybe?

via ok magazine

Anything but boring first day of school pictures.  
Dane and Neve always keep it interesting, to say the least.